I'm Not Crazy, Just a Little Unwell
by Kikumaru
Summary: Yoh is thrown into a mental institution, Manta has been missing for six months. Yaoi/shounen-ai later on in the story.
1. All day, staring at the ceiling

I'm Not Crazy, Just a Little Unwell.  
  
Warnings: Rated PG13 for difficult situations, m/m relationships, kidnapping, insanity, and for Angsty!Yoh, damnit. _;  
  
Yoh looked around at his surroundings, a lack of expression on his face. His eyes were vacant, soft and brown as they always were, but lacking the shine that once emitted from every molecule of his being. One girl was sitting in a corner, trembling, muttering something about the demon in her mind, the demon that she had to destroy, the demon that had brought her to attempt to stab her head with a knife. A small young man, about two feet taller than his 'Manta' and looking very much like him, was sitting there, just reading. That's how it somehow seemed here. Everything was calm. Everything was an uproar. You fell asleep, sounds of people crying echoing through the white halls. The place flowed with negative energy, troubled ghosts that had clung desperately to the place that they had taken their last breath.  
  
Most, if not all, were suicide victims. People that had killed themselves, that had gone mad, and were dead before anyone could've stopped them. He shivered inwardly, knowing that he could still see them...that is, if he'd wanted to. The boy who could see ghosts. The boy who could talk to ghosts. This was him. He was the one with a sixth sense for the unnatural. The one who was known at school till he graduated as the boy who talked to himself in the hallways, acted as if he was with another person...while carrying a mortuary tablet of all things! They'd passed it off as a mere quirk, necrophilia or something of the sort. Or perhaps, just perhaps, he was just crazy.  
  
But this was proven when they saw it. Scratches upon scratches, scars upon scars. He'd worked himself as hard as he could. And for what? Nothing. Oh, he'd said that he had become "Shaman King". He said that he had killed his twin brother, when in fact, in the records, it was never noted that he had anything remotely resembling a twin. Said that he'd had a best friend, went to a school and was passed off as somewhat NORMAL, somewhat ordinary, something new and different. He said that he had a fiancée, a beautiful blonde young lady, that had trained him. Trained him to be something. And he would've married her...had it not been for that he had fallen in love already with his best friend. Asakura Yoh had pictures. Pictures of all these random people, a picture of a barren wasteland in the middle of the United States that he'd said was the 'Patch Village', the place where this imaginary tournament had taken place.  
  
But the worst of all was when he'd scream. Scream in his dreams, scream about all the people that had died. Imaginary people. Names that had no meaning, no structure to anything relevant. He'd cry late at night, wondering why no one believed when he told them this story. Telling them, that everyone had left him. Anna had been the first to leave, claiming that he didn't exactly need her now that the Shaman King tournament was over with and they weren't going to get married anyway. Ren and Horo had mysteriously disappeared together, though they called later to say that they had run away to avoid their parents' wrath when they found out that they were living together. Amidamaru had gone with Mosuke, happy that Yoh and Manta were happy together. The others just sort of dropped off, got married, and just...left him alone. Even Manta, who was the last to leave. Even the one person he had believed, among all people, was really there. Manta had been taken away from him, he knew. After all...it wasn't every day that your best friend and lover just decided to disappear, without a trace, without a notice, without a call...his house was completely empty when he had tried to look for him.  
  
He waited for six months, expecting a letter or a postcard or even a phone call, telling Yoh that he was safe and sound. This was what bothered him the most...there WAS nothing. He would jump up and answer the door at any given moment, neighbors coming over to offer their grievances and to tell him that he was going to be okay. Yeah. Right. He'd just smile and accept their condolences and company, and then shutting the door, going back up to his room to sleep. That was all he had done, for six whole months. Sleep the hours away, sometimes for many days at a time. He rarely ate, and that was only when neighbors brought over a bunch of food and made him eat. Six months later, and he looked terrible, his hair and clothes always disheveled, and his face always bland and expressionless.  
  
It was then, that he felt like Manta would never come back.  
  
It was then, that he felt like the world, everyone who had once been important to him, had turned its back on him.  
  
It was then that he decided that he would take his life. 


	2. Making friends with shadows on my wall

A/N: Beware. I wrote this in bits and pieces.over a span of about four days. And just clearing something up.Manta is about four feet. :D The chicken coop is about four feet tall, eight feet wide, and six feet lengthwise. Thus.Manta's head scrapes the top of it, but he's able to sleep and crawl around comfortably. Yes.  
  
Manta crawled across the damp floor of the small shack, feeling his way around in the darkness of night. His hand rested on something stale, but still warm. He snatched up the piece of bread and bit into it, having used to this cruel game that He had spun. Obviously, he'd been wanted to keep unharmed and alive, because He was still giving Manta food and water every day. Honestly, Manta had thought by now either this person would give up, kill him, or sell him. Manta had never actually seen His face, but the growls He made to disguise His voice were most definitely masculine.  
  
Though still rather short, having grown another half foot since he'd been kidnapped, Manta had to crouch to stand up, much less get up and walk around. Thus, he was mostly found on the floor. The shack was dusty, about the size of a large tool shed, and had wooden slats laid against the floor in order to give some support. However, it was not uncommon to find something living sharing his rather comfortable residence. He'd explored every single crack, every slat, every small bit of light that he could somehow use to bust free of the locked, but apparently VERY sturdy little house. In the corner he'd been given a blanket, a basket of stale bread and a pitcher of water that was to last him the day and night, and every day it was refilled through a knothole in the boards. Manta had tried to break free through this too, but, yet again, it hadn't been successful.  
  
He sighed, still nibbling at the half loaf of bread, and stood up to stretch his muscles with his head bowed to keep from hitting the ceiling. His legs ached, and he fell back down to the ground, creeping across the perimeter of the small shack, lying with his back straight up against the slats and pushing against the floor to push backwards against them. Manta did this every day. Knock on the wood to see if something had crept inside it, made it hollow. Push at it to see if it would somehow budge. Finally, he'd retreat back into his living space on top of the blanket, letting his mind wander to more pleasant places...in a real bed. With someone warm and happy...and snoring. He laughed again at this, remembering the last time he'd been in his own bed with a real blanket, real sheets, real pillows...and then he could fall asleep. Thinking of these things. He'd almost finished with the boards, hardly putting forth any effort. One last time, he put his feet on the floor to brace himself, and pushed backwards into the boards. And then, something budged.  
  
Something had MOVED.  
  
He went wide-eyed, bracing himself yet again, and pushing harder against the back. The sharp crack of wood splintering was heard, but the boards still didn't give way. He was suddenly scared to death, and wondered if pushing again was worth another try. What if He came? What if He had heard, and was standing out there with a gun, just waiting for him to stumble out? He sat against the wooden slats of the wall and stayed silent, praying that he wouldn't be found. His heartbeat pounded in his chest, his rapid breathing the only other sound. Finally, he braced himself once more, and shoved himself backwards into the wall as hard as he could. With a loud crack, the bottom boards broke to the ground.  
  
Cool, clean, fresh air blew for the first time on his back and hair, a sudden chill overtaking him.. He breathed in, smelling the sweetness of wet dew on the grass beneath his bare feet. The mustiness of the small barn (he saw now that it was a chicken shed with the shelves removed) was on his clothes, his hair, and pretty much everything. His legs ached, not wanting to move, and the splinters in his back had started to bleed. He had to walk though.  
  
He stumbled down a grassy hill relieved to see the highway straight ahead of him. He stood at the edge of the road, staring at the passing cars that roared past him. He stuck his thumb out to hitch a ride, staring as a green pick up truck slowly came to a stop and a man leaned out the window.  
  
"Hey kid, where you headin'?" The man surprisingly spoke in English, a calloused hand holding a cigarette out the window with the smoke curling off into the cold night.  
  
Where was it again? Tokyo. Yes. Tokyo, Japan. He needed to go THERE..  
  
"Tokyo, sir." He spoke politely back. The man lifted an eyebrow.  
  
"Tokyo? That's a long ways off for a kid like you t' be travelin', eh? I guess I could take you...It'll be a while."  
  
"Thank you." He bowed his head quickly, and got into the truck next to the man.  
  
"S'no problem at all, kid." 


	3. All night, hearing voices telling me

A/N: I feel like making everything happy. So this is kind of a happy little fluff chapter...rather than being dark and scary.  
  
Five hours. Five freaking hours, only for Manta to grow more anxious and jittery at every minute. The sun had risen...oh, about three hours ago, and was blinding in the early morning sky. The truck driver took a cigarette out of a box in his pocket, lighting it and sticking it between his teeth. Damnit, this kid was annoying. He glanced over, looking at the boy who had begun to mess with his hands again...it was almost as he was TRYING to break them.  
  
"'Ey. Kid. Stop it, or you're gonna hurt yourself." The driver had said this many times already, but the kid just paused for ten minutes and then returned to wringing his hands. Well...they only had about twenty minutes till they got to the address that the kid had given him earlier. He could wait till then.  
  
Manta paused for a while, his hands resting at his sides as he stared out the window.  
  
What if Yoh had another person already? Who knows, he could've taken pity on Anna and got her back...and Tamao had never gone away, had she? Plus, he had tons of people throwing themselves at him, if not someone he knew. If he had been gone for months already, well...that's a long time, to be faithful.  
  
Of course, when you have no one else around you, its pretty damn easy, he thought. If anything, he yearned for Yoh more than ever. What if Yoh moved? What if he was gone for a while to go get something from the store? What if he didn't answer? What if now, Yoh hated him because he thought he'd left on purpose? What if...  
  
But what if Yoh was there, and had been faithful?  
  
Manta smiled at that thought, daydreaming all the way home.  
  
However, a few miles away, Yoh was sprawled out across a cream coloured mattress that lay in the sill of the window. The window was hardly long enough for him to stretch out, but if he bent his knees at just the right point, it was perfect. Morning light filtered in through the bars of the window, and he put his arm over his face to sheild his eyes. He'd gotten his vitals taken fairly early, and had a few minutes to relax before his next group therapy session.  
  
The sunlight warmed his face and hair, making him feel peaceful. His bed was never used, noted his roommate, but never the less...this was the best place to wake up. Surrounded by all sides except for one. His mind wandered slightly. He felt an awful lot like a cat...the way he stretched out in the sunlight, the way he wanted to be surrounded and protected so he could only look one way for things....cats were cool. Yeah.  
  
He laughed at his own hazy early morning thoughts, and then got up from his warm haven. He adjusted his hospital gown slightly and then walked out the door to his therapy, wondering what his goals for today would be.  
  
"I'll try to act more like a cat, and less like a human. Cause cats are cool!" He could imagine only one person saying that aside, a slightly pretty woman who was in for...well, she had set animals free at her pet store. She was an artistic type, and often switched from being VERY silly and hyper to serious and emotional. Manic depression, he thought it was called...well, whatever it was, it often frightened him to watch her moods change.  
  
Another guy in his class was slightly younger than him...maybe just a little prettier, with long reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. He was there because he had been sexually abused for many years by his own father. The boy was a little bit loopy, but...otherwise, Yoh found him interesting. Cool. Even if he was a nympho. But that was okay, he supposed. Everyone else was a little bit on the hormonal side...you weren't allowed to "do" anything in there anyway.  
  
There were a few more people, but these were the two that probably talked the most. Everyone else was all shut up in their own little boxes, dodging the questions he gave. But hey? If you didn't ANSWER them, you wouldn't get any help! And you'd stay messed up and insane forever and ever and ever and...  
  
Okay, he was going to shut up now. Not that he'd ever been talking. Unless he had been doing so and he wasn't aware of it? He took a quick look around the halls, but no one was looking at him. So, he PROBABLY wasn't talking out loud.  
  
Thank god.  
  
He was in a good mood this morning. And he had no clue why. 


	4. That I should get some sleep

A/N: ...I like how Anna turned out. This is my first time writing her...but she makes me smile, for some reason...I think she's drunk. Stay away from drugs, kiddies. XDDD Um. Right, going to try more on this fanfic. :/ Vain attempt at striking back at all the fandom that's collapsing.  
  
----  
  
"Um...Thanks for the ride here....if I can do anything to help.."  
  
Manta scratched the back of his head, feeling awkward under the driver's stare.  
  
"Naw, don't worry bout it, kid...goin' this way anyway. Seeya." The driver smiled, fiddling with a compartment up by the rear view mirror, taking wire rimmed sunglasses out of it. He snapped it back up again, putting the shades on his face, and looked up ahead at the early morning sun. Manta walked closer to the house, turning back to look as the truck restarted, and he waved as his life saver sped out into the distance.  
  
He turned back to the house and knocked on the door, swallowing back the nervous feelings he felt at that moment.  
  
An unfamiliar voice sounded out in the house, followed by a couple of various bangs and bumps as the intruder came to the door.  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming, all RIGHT already..."  
  
The door swung open to reveal a woman, curvy and developed, with beautiful brown eyes and short, choppy blonde hair. She was soaked from head to toe, and was wearing only a towel to hide herself.  
  
Manta felt his heart beating somewhere around his Adam's apple as he realized whom it was. His eyes widened, and his heart seemed to stop for a moment.  
  
"A-ANNA?!" He gaped at her, all of his earlier doubts coming back to him. Anna was living with Yoh again. Anna was living in Yoh's...no, THEIR house.  
  
"Aa. Manta." Her expression changed just slightly into a look of surprise, but she quickly regained her cool.  
  
"I-I'm sorry...was I interrupting something..?"  
  
"I was taking a shower," She stepped back, studying him, and wrinkled her face into a look of disgust. "You should learn what that is...what the hell have you been doing?"  
  
Manta narrowed his eyes at her. It wasn't his fault he hadn't had a shower in quite a few months. He'd tried the best he could to keep clean, sometimes going a day without water to wash up. Besides. She had NO right to insult him. He'd been through more things in the past few months than she'd probably ever been through in her life.  
  
"Nothing that you'd care about," He said, calmly. "Go ahead and take your shower. Tell Yoh-kuhn that I'll be--"  
  
He was interrupted by a sharp gasp from Anna.  
  
"Oh! Yoh...Manta, you heard about what happened, right?"  
  
"I've been missing for six months. No, I didn't hear about what happened." He was, by now, a bit irritated with the blonde. She seemed off, for some reason, not as calm and as smart as she seemingly used to be.  
  
"Oh. Well. Come in then." She beckoned him inside the house, and he sat down in a chair, her sitting down on the couch.  
  
She grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, holding her towel up with her elbows, off of a nearby table and lit it, never minding that her towel was sliding down. She grabbed it just in time, taking her lit cigarette in one hand as she held it up with the other. She took a long puff on it and looked back at Manta, looking calm and collected once more.  
  
"He tried to kill himself."  
  
"...What?"  
  
Manta looked at her as if she were insane.  
  
"Yoh tried to kill himself," She looked a bit distressed by now, once more grabbing her towel as it threatened to slide down.  
  
"Please stop flashing me." Manta paled slightly, looking away.  
  
"Its NOT like I'm doing this on purpose," she said, glaring at him. "But if you want, I'll go get some clothes on."  
  
She stalked off, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Yoh had tried to kill himself? Why? Why would he do something so...pointless? He cradled his head in his hands, sighing.  
  
He guessed that Anna would tell him when she returned. 


End file.
